Rosalina Makes Space Brownies
by ZombieCatTookMyPudding
Summary: Requested by Barbacar, part 3/3 in the mini-series; takes place same day as "Daisy's Big Ol' Adventure" and "A Morning with Mr. and Mrs. Koopa." It's Rosalina's job to send people back from space when they get sent flying as 'twinkles' in the sky. But the Lumas are out of starbits, and all they can find is a box of brownies. Looks like Rosie has some multitasking to do!


**A/N**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Super Mario_. All rights go to their respective owners. Also, this was a request by Barbacar, so credit goes to him for the basic plot.**

 **TIMELINE: Same day as _Daisy's Big Ol' Adventure_ and _A Morning with Mr. and Mrs. Koopa_. All of them take place 1 month before _Mario Fanfiction_.**

* * *

"Did you find anything, Green?"

"Nothing yet, Magenta."

"You mean we're OUT OF STARBITS?!"

"I sure hope not, but...I think so."

"Let's look through the cupboards and see if we can find anything else, then," Baby Luma suggested.

"Hey, guys," Luigi walked into the kitchen, Mario following behind.

"Hey, Mario. Hey, Luigi," Green and Magenta greeted them in unison.

"Mama should be here in a few minutes to send you guys back," Baby Luma said.

Opening a silver can of soda from the fridge, Mario took a long sip. His body becoming shrouded in metal, Mario became...

 **METAL MARIO!**

"I _can_ 't-a believe you just drank that!"

 **BA-DAH** _TSS!_

".elbirret a-tsuj a-saw tahT. wow ,yakO..."

"Huh?"

".'elbirret a-saw nup taht' ,dias I"

"...What?"

".dnim reven ,hO"

"Yes, just help yourself, why don't you, Mario?" A blonde woman in a blue dress walked into the kitchen. Luigi noted the dark baggy circles under her eyes.

"Ooh, _someone's_ grumpy," Luigi commented, a friendly, joking grin on his face. "Guess we woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, huh, Rosalina?"

Feeling the need for caffeine, (and a bit parched herself) Rosalina found a normal soda and put it in her hammerspace inventory.

"Come along, gentleman. You know the drill."

* * *

 ***TO THE COSMIC CANNON!***

* * *

When they arrived at the terrace, they found various Goombas, Koopas, Bandits, (some of which were Bowser's minions that Rosalina recognized) and even a whole Toad police squad!

"Hmm...I believe my usual cigarettes won't cut it this time...I suppose it's time for the 'heavy duty' smokes, then." Pulling a colorful cigar out of her hammerspace inventory, Rosalina lit it. Taking a taste of the edge, her eyes began to shimmer, the rest of her body following. Soon, she became...

 **RAINBOW ROSALINA!**

"Whoa..." All the Lumas watching from a distance said in unison.

"Who's ready to get sent back from space?" Rosalina asked, raising her voice enough for everyone to hear her. The crowd cheered.

She stood by the cannon, and a line formed behind it. Lighting the fuse with her cigar, Rosalina began sending everyone who had been shot back to the earth.

Tss... **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

Tss... **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

Tss... **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

"She might be a princess, but a law breaker is a law breaker! Come on, boys. Let's go back and catch Princess Daisy off guard!"

 _Huh, so that's how it happened_ , Rosalina thought.

Tss... **BOOM! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!**

 _*TWINKLE!* *TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE TWINKLE!*_

 **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

 **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

 **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

 **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

 **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

 **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

 **BOOM!** _*Twinkle!*_

"Except for you two, I believe that's the last of them." Rosalina sighed, relieved. Mario finished up the Metal Soda in his hand.

"!ssecnirp eht evas a-dna kcab og as'teL ?!rof gnitiaw ew er'tahw ,lleW"

"You know no one can understand you as Metal Mario, right?"

"txet sdrawkcab eht daer ot yzal oot 'eno on' sI? yhW?"

"Couldn't you wait to talk until _after_ your Metal Mario form wears off?"

" _!sthgir_ ym evah I _!oreh_ a m'I !klat a-t'nac nda nac eh nehw _oiraM lateM_ llet a-t'nac uoY"

"DUDE! SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYI-" Luigi found himself cut off when an annoyed Rosalina shoved he and Metal Mario into the cannon, and lit the fuse with the last of her cigar.

Tsss...

 **BOOM!**

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAWWWW"

 **BOOM!**

"OHWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!"

 _Who knew only five minutes of sending all those people back could be so tiring?_ she thought as she began to revert to her normal form. As a sudden withdrawl began to take over her, she wondered if she could sleep it off with a little "cat nap". Rosalina fell backwards...

"OW!"

...into the hard floor. The chair she intended to catch her by pulling it up with her cosmic powers didn't quite meet at her landing point. Letting out an annoyed scowl, she inched it closer until she could climb up into it.

Closing her eyes, Rosalina began to relax and think sleepy thoughts...

 **"HEY, MAMA-!"**

...until it was interrupted by her "kids".

"What is it?" she growled, tired.

"We're out of starbits," Baby Luma informed her.

"Already? But I just thought I got some about a week ago!"

"I guess that star-bit chugging contest Baby Luma and Polari had a few days ago didn't help," Green muttered.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing," Baby Luma said, slightly nervous.

"Anyway, we might be out of starbits, but we found this instead!" Magenta handed her a large box.

* * *

 **TRIPLE CHOCOLATE SUPER DELICIOUS SPACE BROWNIES!**

 _STARRY, CHOCOLATEY GOODNESS IN EVERY BITE!_

(Makes 3 batches)

* * *

"...So..." Baby Luma started.

"Could we have some Mama?" Green asked.

"Please? Pretty please?"

The three star children looked at her with hungry, pleading eyes.

"...Oh...alright."

"YAY!"

 **CRASH!**

Bowser's head poked through a new hole in the floor. The all-too-familiar frying-pan mark still fresh on his cheek.

"...I don't suppose you'd like some space brownies too, Bowser?" Rosalina asked casually.

"Ooh! Brownies! They're like chocolate cake, but drier!"

"I will take that as a 'yes'."

* * *

Rosalina started preheating their new oven and getting the mix together.

"So, how are the wife and kids?" Rosalina asked as she put the water in.

"Oh, the usual: kids are causing trouble, wifey hit me with the frying pan again because she forgot that we're really married, and I was making really lame but funny puns again, same-ol-same-ol. How're you and the Lumas?"

"As you can see from the evidence of the empty cabinets, they have been eating most of us out of observatory and home, but other than that, nothing too different." She grabbed the oil and put half a cup in.

"At least you have enough to make those delicious brownies."

"True, true." Mixing the rest of the batter together, Rosalina poured the mix into a baking pan and stuck it in the oven. "Strange, the oven doesn't appear to be warm yet." Taking another rainbow cigar and lighter out of her hammerspace inventory, she went to light the oven.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

"Ungh..." Bowser and Rosalina sat up and found themselves covered in cartoonish black soot. They looked around: they were back on the earth.

"What happened?" Rosalina asked.

"Gas leak, I think. The room started smelling really weird when you opened the oven. I was about to say something, but it was too late by then." The two friends sat in silence for a moment. Bowser smacked his lips. "Come to think of it, I'm pretty thirsty. You wouldn't happen to have anything to drink, would you?"

Rosalina remembered the soda in her hammerspace inventory. She had forgotten about it, since the rainbow cigars she made had a natural hydrating/caffeinating power, and it fixed her thirst and (most of) her tiredness. "Actually, I do. You may have my soda. I doubt I will needing it any time soon." Finding an unused pack of cards in her hammerspace inventory, she remembered their conversation on a separate day that Bowser lost at least three of them for different reasons, and handed that to him too.

"Hey, thanks!"

"Sure." Another moment of awkward silence. "...How am I going to get back to space?"

"Look! A catapult!" Bowser pointed towards an unguarded catapult. "I think if I pull hard enough on that thing, it'll get you back to space."

"Are you sure that will work?"

"Worth a try, at least."

"I suppose so."

So Bowser loaded Rosalina in the catapult.

"Think I can get home from here. This part of World 9 isn't all that far from my castle. Thanks for the cards and soda, by the way."

"Any time," Rosalina nodded. "I'll see you later." Bowser pulled the catapult back.

"FIRE!"

Rosalina was launched until she became a twinkle in the sky! The g-force was pulling the skin back from her eyes and mouth.

SMASH! Rosalina crashed into the terrace dome, making a cartoony hole in the ceiling with her body shape.

"Oh, there you are, Mama. We saw the gas leak in the kitchen and used our powers to fix it. Luckily, the brownie box is still intact, and good for two more batches," Baby Luma informed her.

* * *

Rosalina made another batch of brownies, and placed them in the newly fixed, and properly heating oven. Having a feeling that that wasn't the last time someone would get shot up into space, she decided to stay by the Cosmic Cannon. Just in case.

Sure enough, after ten minutes of sitting and waiting, **Sparkly Rosegold Peach** was sent as a flying sparkle in the sky, and soon landed in Rosalina's terrace dome.

"Huh? Where am I?" she wondered aloud.

"Hello, Peach. It is nice to see you again," Rosalina said, turning towards her.

"Hello, Rosalina. Why do you have a cannon? Is that new?"

"It's my job to send people back when they get shot flying as a 'twinkle' in the sky," she explained. "There have been an awful lot of those today."

"...Daisy?"

"Yes. About...maybe 98% of them. You're going to need bail money, you know."

"I know." Peach said, taking a puff of her cigarette.

"Would you like me to send you back?" Rosalina asked.

"Bowser's holding me hostage. I'm in no hurry."

"I understand," Using her cosmic powers, Rosalina pulled up two chairs, gesturing for Sparkly Rosegold Peach to sit in one. Taking the seat opposite to her, Rosalina pulled out an identical golden cigarette holder with one of her hand-made cigarettes at the tip. "I believe it's time for a well-earned smoke break anyway."

* * *

"So, I remember Daisy said she was getting a new tennis court installed...perhaps if you find the time, you would like to come down and test it out with us?" Sparkly Rosegold Peach offered.

"Yes. I did hear about that," Sparkly Platinum Rosalina said. "It sounds wonderful. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to have much free-time for a month or so your time. Protector-of-space stuff. You understand, right?"

"Oh, of course. It will probably take a month to finish installing anyway. I'm sure Daisy wouldn't mind either."

 _BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_

A faded cheer came from the distance:

"WOOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! Hi, I'm Daisy!"

"Speak of the devil..." Sparkly Rosegold Peach sighed. "I better go back. I think the Mario Bros will be beating Bowser soon, and will be rather worried if I'm not there."

"Very well. Off you go then."

Peach hopped inside the Cosmic Cannon.

"Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be. Thanks again for the extra cigarettes."

"Of course. My side-business has been rather slow, so I have more than I know what to do with anyway." Taking her cigarette out of her mouth, she lights the cosmic cannon with her cigarette. "Until we meet again, my friend!"

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Sniffing the air, Rosalina noticed something smelled like smoke, and not the kind that came from her cigarette. Putting it out, she suddenly remembered: "OH NO! THE BROWNIES!"

Rosalina zoomed to the kitchen with cartoonish lines behind her...but by the time she got to there, it was too late. The brownies were burnt.

 **"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"**

"Mama, is everything okay?"

"-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Holding the vowel, Rosalina turned awkwardly towards the Luma children. "-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" she looked at the brownies in her hands, and then back at them, "-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge brownies...just got burnt." She took a deep breath and sighed. "It's alright. I'll just make another one. We still have one more at least."

* * *

This time, Rosalina was determined to get it right. She mixed the batter while the oven preheated and spent the next twenty-five minutes sitting...watching...waiting...and smoking another cigarette when she got bored.

Then, yes! Finally! The Space Brownies were done, and they were done right.

"DOES ANYONE WANT SPACE BROWNIES?!" Rosalina called out through a random megaphone she found lying around the kitchen.

"Oh, no thanks, Mama," Magenta declined.

"We're stuffed," Green said.

"Wha-, but _how?"_

"While you were sending people back from space, Polari ordered a hundred truckloads of starbits, so we won't be running out of food for a while," Baby Luma pointed to the last truck pouring out the last round of starbits. "Appreciate it anyway, Mama."

Sparkly Platinum Rosalina felt her eye twitching. Letting something out in-between a laugh and a sob, she took a bite of one of the brownies off of the plate she put it on.

"Huh...not bad."


End file.
